Sunglasses

Sunglasses are awkward. One: you need to figure out what the COOL sunglasses are. As in, the huge bug-eye looking ones, aviators, heart-shaped (though I've heard those aren't supposed to be worn as a serious fashion statement... But I do... Is that bad?), thin sporty-like, whatever. There are so many styles!!! How do you know which ones are cool??? HOW?!?!?!?!? AAAAAAAHHHGH!!!!

FASHION SUNGLASSES FTW.

Two: once you've got your sunglasses, you use them right? It's sunny, you're all squinty, so to avoid looking like a squinting fool you wear the sunglasses. But imagine you're meeting someone for the first time. Do you want them to remember your face or your (maybe) fashionable sunglasses? And if you do take your sunglasses off so the stranger can see your face, THEY SEE YOU ALL SQUINTY-LIKE. SO THEN THEY REMEMBER YOU AS THE SQUINTY ONE.

Or as this guy:

And then if you have trouble putting on the damned things because you only have one hand and you stab your cheek... or your eye...

Or if they fall off randomly and you have to bend over to pick them up... and your skirt is kind of short...

Or if you have them on your shirt, and your shirt is kind of loose so the sunglasses end up pulling your shirt down enough to expose your Sponge Bob bra...

And no, none of this has ever happened to me. Nope. Not at all. And I'm a great lier. Just so you know. I'm like the bomb at it. Totally.

(The first sunglasses picture found here)

(The second one is found here. Because apparently people actually buy this stuff. Yep.)

Name Ambush:
(noun) When an acquaintance you haven't seen for a long time greets you by name but you don't have time to remember their name.

Joe: "Hi, Andy. How have you been?"

Andy: "Er...Hi. Good. How about YOU?"

Sarah: "Andy, you've just been name ambushed."



P.S.
THIS HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME.

(definition found on Urban Dictionary, or here)
(funny picture of Nicole Kidman found here)

Awkward Lockers

My locker sits next to the locker of a girl I don't generally talk to. We have a class together, and even though I usually end up sitting next to her, we don't talk. We're just not friends really... It's not a bad/good thing, it just is, you know? Well anyhow, having a locker situated next to someone whom you don't talk to can be quite awkward. Here are some real-life, wholly true examples:

The time: in between classes. As I'm stuffing my books and purse into my locker while simultaneously trying to grab the books I need for my next class, the girl with the locker next to mine walks up. She kneels to take some books from her locker and I think I hear something akin to "Hey." I don't register the noise until about five seconds later. Once I realize that she said something, I spend another two or three seconds figuring out if she actually said

something or if I'm just going crazy again. I reluctantly decide that she had said a greeting of some sort, so I said "Hey!" And that's when she looks at me like I'm insane. I mutter something like "Oh sorry, I thought you said hi, but whatever hi anyways!" And then silence. Luckily class started right then so I was able to run off before the situation got any worse.

(Picture found here)

Tongue-Tied Tarantula (noun)

1. Used when one cannot seem to find the words they are looking for.

2. Used when another human being says something that causes others to feel uncomfortable and therefore become tongue-tied because hey do not know what to say.

3. Used just whenever the hell you want to

Stefanie: Shove some bananas down your pants!

Michelle: WHAT?!

Jennifer and Amie: Tongue-Tied Tarantula!

(Definition compliments of www.urbandictionary.com)

(Picture found here)

Happy New Year!!!

May this year be more awkward than the last!! If you're into... that kind of... stuff... Yeah...

Video compliments of College Humor POV

What is this phenomenon?

So there's this thing called Mystery Seeker (formerly known as Mystery Google) where people give complete and random strangers missions (such as going to a very public place and quacking like a duck). I have visited this site and encountered some very awkward situations.

One: Perverts asking for nude pictures via text messages.

Two: Complete strangers asking for dating advice.

Three: Complete strangers telling me to do weird things and then feeling compelled to do them.

Four: Being compelled to quack like a duck in public.

Now I have not actually done this quacking business, but knowing me I'll probably quack on accident and make an awkward fool out of myself as always. But the fact is, these things are happening to real people. This phenomenon of Mystery Seeker is making everyone awkward fools. This makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore...

An Akward Bee

Hey, hey guys, hey hey hey? Guys? I kinda found a funny video? Yeah? Guys?