Sunglasses

Sunglasses are awkward. One: you need to figure out what the COOL sunglasses are. As in, the huge bug-eye looking ones, aviators, heart-shaped (though I've heard those aren't supposed to be worn as a serious fashion statement... But I do... Is that bad?), thin sporty-like, whatever. There are so many styles!!! How do you know which ones are cool??? HOW?!?!?!?!? AAAAAAAHHHGH!!!!

FASHION SUNGLASSES FTW.

Two: once you've got your sunglasses, you use them right? It's sunny, you're all squinty, so to avoid looking like a squinting fool you wear the sunglasses. But imagine you're meeting someone for the first time. Do you want them to remember your face or your (maybe) fashionable sunglasses? And if you do take your sunglasses off so the stranger can see your face, THEY SEE YOU ALL SQUINTY-LIKE. SO THEN THEY REMEMBER YOU AS THE SQUINTY ONE.

Or as this guy:

And then if you have trouble putting on the damned things because you only have one hand and you stab your cheek... or your eye...

Or if they fall off randomly and you have to bend over to pick them up... and your skirt is kind of short...

Or if you have them on your shirt, and your shirt is kind of loose so the sunglasses end up pulling your shirt down enough to expose your Sponge Bob bra...

And no, none of this has ever happened to me. Nope. Not at all. And I'm a great lier. Just so you know. I'm like the bomb at it. Totally.

(The first sunglasses picture found here)

(The second one is found here. Because apparently people actually buy this stuff. Yep.)