Awkward Food

Below is a list of food that you shouldn't eat on a date unless you like awkward moments:

Sandwiches/Hamburgers/Anything similar - Eating these is messy business, and the meat and other goodies usually fall out and then you have to use your fingers to stuff it all back inside the sandwich-like thing and then continue eating. It's not very graceful.

Ribs - The sauce on this food item gets everywhere: your fingers, your mouth, your napkin, your shirt. Just stay away. Unless you like looking like a vampire.

Mexican Hot Dogs - According to a friend of mine, Mexican hot dogs are topped with all sorts of delicious goodness. However, they're messy. Extremely messy. As I stated before, messy foods are not graceful.

(see what I mean?)

Corn on the Cob - The corn bits and stringy stuff get stuck in your teeth, which makes for awkward smiling afterwards. No one likes smiling (or kissing) with crap in their teeth.

Popsicles - You have to be careful with these because if you eat them too suggestively, you might give your date the wrong idea. That could get really awkward. This goes for all other similarly-shaped items (like hot dogs and bananas). Just be careful with them...

(monkeys.)

Sources:

Mexican hot dog photo found here

Monkey photo found here

Something Fun to Do

Next time you're on the subway or a sunny bench in a lovely little park, I suggest that you and an accomplice complete this next task for the joy of being awkward. Here I have a step-by-step manual for you:

One: Find a fellow or a lady who is reading something engrossing (i.e. someone distracted by a literary work of some sort). Have your accomplice record the ensuing events.

Two: Walk up to your chosen victim.

Three: Sit or stand near your victim.

Four: Commence to read over the victim's shoulder until they notice you.

Five: When your victim discovers you hovering over his/her shoulder, ask your victim what book s/he is reading.

Six: Upon hearing the answer, say "I'm sorry, I have a waffle in my ear."

Seven: Walk away.

I assure you, this task will bring great joy to you and your accomplice. Share your findings and laugh. I hope your day will be a tad brighter.

Awkward Girl

I felt that, since this is a new blog, I would find a video to post. This is the first video that came to mind...

What are YOUR favorite awkward videos?

First Day on the Job

One day, a man - let us call him Tobias - sat on a sunny bench hoping to get some reading done. Little did he know, someone was watching him...


You see, the watcher could not help but notice how absorbed Tobias was with his book. For a while she contented herself with watching from afar, but soon she could not resist the mystery that was Tobias...

She walked up to him, a bit shyly at first, and sat down next to him. She took out a box of orange Tic-Tacs. It shook loudly as she extracted two of the orange little darlings and placed them gingerly in her mouth. She turned to Tobias. "Would you like a Tic-Tac?" she asked. He looked up from his book. "Uh... No thanks..."

The girl was disappointed to say the least. She quickly grew bored and walked away. The end.